April 23, 2013

Me leaving the apartment, and the bitties, for the last time:

April 9, 2013

My apartment smells like skunk weed and baby prostitutes.

April 5, 2013

FYB: "Like, why are you even living here?"
Me: "This was the only room with space available in residence. And, honestly, I'm not surprised that your other roommates moved out."
FYB: "Are you seriously making fun of them?"
Me: "No, I'm seriously making fun of you."

 

 "Are you gonna go get stoned now? Is that all you guys do, just get fucking high?" - FYB friend

 

"Did you check the bus schedule?" "No, I don't know how." 

April 4, 2013

"I feel like, you can't wear a nice shirt if you have curly hair. Because then, like, so much is going on. You know?"

"I hope this warms your throat for the vodka coming next."

"She's like: 1. an emo, 2. a wiccan, and 3. a proud lesbian." 

I swear to god, if there is one more party in this apartment at 3 AM, the world will have 3 fewer bitties.

*Note: Shit was later flipped. By me.
*Question: If bitties call you a "psycho cunt bitch", should this be taken as a compliment? 


 

April 3, 2013

Oh, fuck. It's my bitty roommate's 19th birthday.

April 1, 2013

"Aren't you guys so excited to be drunk on a Monday?"

March 27, 2013

I thought my bitty roommates were finally cleaning the sink. Nope, just filling up their bong.